Let’s be real for a minute here, I’m not a big fan of New Years Resolutions (like at all).
I think a lot of goal setting in general can be utterly useless.
My reasoning around this is that a lot of traditional goal setting is destined for failure. Most goals are set with the expectation that upon completion, they will result in happiness, fulfillment, feeling loved, fill the void, etc. In reality, that just hasn't turned out to be the case for me.
I also notice the word 'goals' to be a bit of a loaded one, it means different things to different people, and can often lead to feeling of failure if not achieved. I've noticed more often than not there are so many accomplishments on our way to something that the end result is usually just the cherry on top, the journey is where all the good stuff is.
However, since learning some new information, my mindset around this has shifted a bit, and I want to share with you the specific things that really helped that transition.
First and foremost, I don’t think of any one thing as a goal anymore.
I’m always looking at going to what is beyond the goal. Think about it, let’s say you want to make $250,000.00 this year. That in itself looks like a great goal, however, my question is WHY do you want to make $250,000.00?
If the reason is simply the money because it feels like a lot of money to you, I promise you will not find the fulfillment you seek when you hit it.
You’ll simply wonder why it was so important to you & why you’re not happier that you hit it. You might even find yourself in a state of worry that you might lose the money you've gained.
However, if you outline something that really means something to you, for example, I want to make $250k this year ‘so I can help my sister by paying for after school childcare & improve her day to day life dramatically’ or ‘I can allow my wife to go to part time’ or ‘I can cut my hours down so I can pursue my entrepreneurial venture’, now we’re talking.
The reason why MATTERS! So when I think of goals, or in other words, stuff I want, I think about my future identity.
What’s a future identity?
Glad you asked ;)
Your future identity is who you’re becoming. It’s happening no matter what, and weather it’s deliberate or default is completely up to you.
This is the process of outlining who you want to become, and seeing if what you’re doing day to day right now is bringing you towards, or away from, that person. This will usually start with some very generic terms (i.e. I want to be happy, wealthy and wise), so your job is to challenge yourself. Break it down. Ask WHY you want these things and what do they look like?
My definition of health might be different from yours, the more clear you can get the easier it will be to make sure your day to day actions are building you into the person you aspire to become.
Here’s a step by step that’s help me get clear on this stuff:
1.Think about the person you want to be 3 months from now. What qualities do you have? How have you grown in the past 3 months?
**I rarely do ANY goals that extend past 3 months. Why? Because so much changes so quickly when your life is expanding. 3 months from now things could be totally different. I find this makes it easier to break down what actions I need to take & get clarity.
Trigger actions for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd month
This is where you break down what needs to happen in the upcoming months for you to hit this. For example, if your 3 month target is to lose 15lbs, you’re looking at 5lbs/month loss, etc.
This one is so important. What internal qualities do you need to improve for this to happen? This could be learning more about nutrition & what works for your body, or learning marketing so you can promote your side business, or learning wordpress so you can build a blog. Whatever it is, look at it and start You Tubing until it becomes less scary. I promise you will be crazy proud of yourself for this. This stuff often comes with a higher sense of accomplishment and can create more confidence then hitting the goal itself. This is where the real magic happens.
Gather A Tribe Around You
Anyone who’s done anything knows how important this is.
If you don’t have people around you who support you, push you, tell you when you’re being a dumbass or make more money than you that’s totally okay. Your job now is to get comfortable finding new groups and making new friendships. This could come in the form or pursuing a new hobby or taking a class.
One skill that has served me tremendously in life is getting comfortable doing stuff on my own. It’s much easier to create authentic new friendships & be receptive to new communities when you’re by yourself as opposed to with a friend or a group.
Scripting Your Setbacks
This is the time to get real.
Where are you going to have trouble?
Basically what habits or routines do you have RIGHT NOW that are holding you back from being the personal you want to be?
Is it that you’re not consistent with your actions or you don’t know what actions to take?
This is part of the reason why I love starting with 3 month goals, only doing longer plans once I’m clear on what actions I’ll need to take and exactly how to implement them.
You’re not going to magically be motivated to work out all of a sudden or stop watching TV just because it’s a New Year.
So what's the plan?
A great way is to set up a rewards system, so for example you can watch TV after you do 45 minutes of marketing research & implement one new strategy in your business.
Definitely don’t take away completely anything that you enjoy, think about it as something you get to earn while creating a better life.
What separates you from the masses?
What makes people who are the best be the best?
Is it their follow up?
What would make you the best in the world at your chosen craft?
If you were to set a new standard, you’d not only rise to the top of your field but you’d learn how to set new standard in your industry.
That’s a great accomplishment, and a great way to think.
Look at what the best of the best are doing and copy that shit.
Once you can copy it, make it better.
These are great questions to ask yourself & fantastic things to look into. We have so much access to information, go find out who the best is at making money, nutrition, photography, whatever it is you want to pursue. Find something that clicks or figure out how someone else did it and compress years in months by learning from their journey.
I highly recommend a book called ‘High Performance Habits’ by Brendon Burchard while doing these exercises, it will help you be clear on what to focus on and give you fantastic advice from a world renowned performance coach.
Here’s a practice from that book I’ve found extremely valuable, it’s called envisioning the Future Four:
The Future Four are:
Service to other
There’s a difference between knowing yourself & imagining yourself. High performers know themselves but they don’t get stuck there
Be open to knowing and accepting yourself as you are and allowing a vision to come into place about who you’re becoming.
Who you're becoming, should come hand in hand with some pretty awesome skills, which in turn will help you serve others. It's a magic loop that creates a ripple effect of a lot of happiness, fulfillment, spreading love & often a very high income.
What are some of your strategies for ensuring you have an amazing life? Comment away :)
Happy New Year lovelies! Let's celebrate in style.